No matter how many times we may hear the phrase “failure is a learning opportunity”, the disappointment that accompanies a perceived failure stings regardless. And it may take some time after a “failed” attempt at something for our confidence to recover completely, leaving us unsure of ourselves and in doubt of our abilities in the process. However, it is important to remember that often society’s criteria for “success” is based on a restricted set of standards made up by one or a few individuals. This means that perceived success may not realistically encompass nor consider the diverse forms in which adequate attainment and mastery manifests from individual to individual. And it also suggests that we may actually have been successful (meaning we learned what we needed to learn) in situations where others may have deemed us failures. Because real success is not contingent upon us proving our ability to anyone, but rather in being able to apply our newfound knowledge in the face of real-life challenges and to solve real problems.
Now, when it is true that we have not really learned what we needed to learn from an experience or situation, we are almost always given an opportunity to try again. This is to teach us persistence and perseverance in the face of challenge and adversity – it encourages growth and fosters a resilient character. And when it is really true that we have gained the needed insight from a particular experience or situation, our time there may come to an end (sometimes suddenly) as a different path opens up in a [potentially] new direction. This is often represented in society by the ceremony of “graduation” many of us go through during our academic journeys.
One of the great disservices to humanity that societal perceptions of failure present is the restricting fear that keeps many of us from attempting something in the first place. How many more revolutionary discoveries and advancements could have made today had someone’s fear of failure or desire to “save face” not kept them from dedicating the necessary time to give something an honest attempt? Perhaps the world would not be in the dire predicament it finds itself in today.
Because the truth is that failure is simply a part of Life.
Let us look at the example of a fruiting tree. In order to bear fruit, a tree must first put in the energy to produce flowers. Some of those flowers may end up being knocked down, blown away, or wither before they are even pollinated, so the tree may preemptively produce many more flowers than is actually needed in order to increase the chances of a successful pollination. Once pollinated, many of the fruits may not get the chance to grow all the way to maturity, so again the tree may overcompensate in its early fruit production in order to increase the likelihood of at least some of its fruit successfully growing to maturity. And once again, among all the fruits that do manage to grow to maturity, only the seeds of a small number of them will have the chance to sprout and successfully grow into a mature tree of their own. From this example, we see that there are chances for success at every stage of development, and that there is a component of failure that is naturally a part of each of these stages as well. As with the fruiting tree, when we are in the right environment and conditions are conducive, success is practically assured as long as we invest enough energy/effort into our desired outcome1.
In the example with the fruiting tree, it should also be noted that each failure for the tree may have been a potential success for another form of Life. Each unpollinated flower and immature fruit that falls to the ground becomes food for the microorganisms and fauna found in the soil, and ultimately nutrients for the tree itself. Each fruit and/or seed eaten becomes nourishment that sustains another Life. And each seed that does not sprout nor mature leaves space for another plant to take root. This, however, is not to say that we should look forward to or wish for others to fail. But I hope to make the point that failure is in and of itself a Life-sustaining outcome, as is success.
If we were to apply a similar logic to predator-prey relations in the animal kingdom, we could more clearly see how failure and success are matters of perspective. A mouse that fails to escape the sharp grasp of an owl becomes its food – the owl is successful where the mouse has failed. However, even if the owl had failed to catch this particular mouse, they would have most likely had another opportunity to successfully catch a different one. Yet it is also possible that this owl is simply less suited to catching mice, at which point it may try its luck at hunting other small birds or lizards instead, and it may find that it does so with much greater ease and success. Similarly, when there seems to be no change in outcome (i.e. growth) after repeated failure, it may be a call for us to adapt and change course in order to find a way of living that we can rely on to sustain us (Spiritually, psychologically, and/or physically).
In any case, one thing is for certain: failure is assured if we do not even try. A fruiting tree that does not invest any of its energy into producing flowers will have zero chance of producing fruit or reproducing. And an owl that stops hunting instead of switching to different prey after a few failed mouse chases will surely die of starvation. Many of us are lucky enough to have the flexibility and the means to try again and again at something we are determined to achieve/attain. And many are lucky enough to have the option to try at something new when something else has failed to work out. So let us not waste any opportunity we are given and simply try. And let us learn through failure what is required of us in order to grow and ultimately succeed – if not at this then surely at that.
1 And as long as there are no conscious external forces actively impeding our success. But even then, we may still have a chance.
